Practical Real World Advice on accepting or turning down an invitation to go on a date. FYI: It’s a short one sided discussion because of technical issues. Mary’s upload never worked.
It’s Easier to Date as a Time Traveler
We talked a few days ago, and we could say we talked last month, right? Because we did. It was last month, but it’s only been a few days. And I’ve been thinking a lot about your questions and a lot about your, predicament. And then I started thinking about a concept.
and I’ve, titled it dating time travel.
This goes back to the theory that we are all time travelers. In other words, we are all moving forward in time. And so if we’re moving forward in time, we’re traveling through time. Thus we’re time travelers and dating.
Time travel is the is a way of looking at dating in a different way completely than what’s been done in the past. If you are empowered as a time traveler, you no longer have to feel pressure or obligation to make a decision in the moment exactly when options appear.
In other words, you don’t have to decide when when a fella asks you out. There are things you can do to delay or to move forward in time that then allows you to make a decision based on what’s going to be best for you. And ultimately what’s best for you is really best for everybody. That’s one of the cool principles that Reed Disney taught me.
But if so if you make a decision that’s best for you, it’s hard sometimes to do that in the moment when you have the social pressure and all the unknowns. But if you take the stance that, Hey, you know what I’m, a dating time traveler and I can, make this decision later about a question that was asked in the past.
And this also allows you to make decisions for the future, for questions you haven’t been asked.
Let’s pretend that I was trying to date your mom and I asked her and she’s the one who’s going to have the mentality of a dating time traveler. And so I say, Hey, Sarah, would you like to go to David Copperfield with me? I have tickets. Now, instead of answering, she can get more information and delay the answer by asking some additional questions.
For example, she could go David Copperfield. I love that book. And I’ll be like, that’s not a reference to Charles Dickens. That’s a, it’s a magician. And she’d be like, Oh, a show. And I’d be like, yes. And then we go back and forth. And what she’s going to be looking for is a, she’s going to do everything except answer the question as she gathers more information.
So she found out that it’s a show. She goes, when is it? And I say, it’s Thursday night at six o’clock and she goes, this Thursday, I go, yes, this Thursday. Then she goes, when, and here’s the secret, when do you need to know by? And so now me, who’s asking her out, I feel like she’s doing everything she can so she can say yes.
She’s not giving me any excuses and that’s key. That’s the important, that’s like the prime directive of a dating time travelers to not give excuses. So she goes, what when do you have to know? And I say I probably need to know by Tuesday and then whatever day I tell her, she could then return back and say, I will have an answer for you by sometime before that.
Cause she wants to be polite and wants me to be able to ask somebody else out. So now what this has done is in the moment it’s taken all the pressure off. She’s not answering my question. She’s time traveling into the future. So now in the future, she can look back in time and weigh all of her options and say that Cameron, he’s He’s a little odd, but he has all of these attributes that I find attractive.
So I think I will say yes. And now she can get back to me and say, Cameron, I’m excited. I am able to go where shall we meet? Or give me more details. And so now I think that she is like lassoed the moon in order to go on a date with me. And I’m as excited as, I can possibly be because I, it feels like she’s gone through extraordinary things because of time going by in order to go with me.
Now, let’s say she looks at that and she’s Oh, that Cameron, he’s odd. And I just don’t see this going anywhere in the future. And Thursday night, I, would rather leave that open just in case Joe or Henry asks, me out. So then she can contact me and say, Cameron, thank you so much for the invite.
I am not able to go to David Copperfield on Thursday night at six. No excuse. And then I say, Oh, okay. And because I’m being turned down for a specific event. Most of the time, young men are not going to be prepared to ask for a different time.
She was able to ask for details. If I, for example, if someone asked you out and said, So Mary, I think we should go on a date sometime. Time travel. You need to ask further details and push it off into the future. What did you have in mind? When, would that be?
Yeah. Okay. Yes, I’ve now committed and I have no idea when you’re going to spring on that commitment on me. So Mary, we’re going to go on a deep sea fishing expedition. It’s only going to cost you 600. And you’re like, I didn’t agree to that, but you did. You said you’d go out with me sometime. See the difference?
So how do you draw that out of somebody? When they don’t have details, as a time traveling, dating, specialist, investigation, guy. What are some things you think you could do? Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah. And, yeah, it’s not a ambiguous something, invitation, a generalized invitation. It’s a date. Yeah. Yeah, do you want to go on a sometime?
Are you talking about like a date or a party? If There are some other things you can do. These are techniques, right? This strategy is to delay having to answer until you’re out of the moment and you have the details that you need to make a decision that’s best for you and best for them.
So that the strategy is that and some tactics for that are to ask for more details, to then clarify and you can lead them where you want to go. So for example, if they say, Hey, we should hang out sometime. That’s, an invitation and they’re feeling you out to find out where you’re at. So at that point, one of the easiest things is to time travel to the future and you have something prepared for everybody who says something generalized like that, that Where you don’t want to date them specifically, where you know them, you’re like, nah I’m not interested.
Or I want to have some more shared events with them before I isolate and do something by myself with them. So the time travel for the future would be a planned event.
Let’s pretend if he’s hinting around and he’s wanting to single you out, you time travel to the future. You already know that you have these regular events scheduled and you invite them to a group activity and that fulfills that.
So in this case, it would be like, Hey Mary, we should hang out sometime. Then you can say, Oh, you know what? A group of us get together at two o’clock on Sunday to study the scriptures. Why don’t you come this week? It’s at this time.
They didn’t ask you on a date. They suggested that you do, you have shared experiences together. And so you’re providing a safe place where you have all of the information to be able to feel comfortable to have a shared experience with someone that you don’t know yet. And then, maybe they do want to date you.
In that case, they should ask you out. Because if they’re just going to hang out, that’s not a date. That’s just hanging out and most likely where they say we should hang out more is when you guys are already hanging out and nothing changes. So anyway. So that’s that was the gist of my thoughts.
I was like, man, you know what you could prepare for the future and then delay to respond to the past.