Connect And Conquer

[00:00:00] Kyle Jetsel: So today, I want to ask you about Connect and Conquer, specifically. I want to be edumacated today, Cameron. Okay. So tell me, Why is it called that? I’m curious. I’m gonna ask a lot of questions.

[00:00:16] Kyle Jetsel: Hopefully that’s okay today.

[00:00:17] Cameron Watson: Yeah, that’s fine. Um, when my family, we, we’ve been going through a lot of hardships and we got together and I said, listen, there’s an opportunity here for us to build a business together as a family and everybody wanted to participate like everybody. And, um, so because of that, I, we talked about what we wanted to do, how we wanted to help people out.

[00:00:46] Cameron Watson: And Uh, we brainstormed a bunch of ideas, came up with a list, used a little, um, chat GTP to, uh, flush out a bigger list. And then everybody voted. Um, oddly enough, I did not vote for Connect and Conquer as the name. But it had, uh, the most votes, and when we narrowed it down, it then became overwhelming. And I was in the minority, so.

[00:01:11] Cameron Watson: That’s why it’s, uh, called Connect and Conquer. What was your, what was your, what did you want it to be called, Cameron? Probably something really lame.

[00:01:21] Kyle Jetsel: Cameron’s way of making sure the family loves each other and doesn’t fight anymore or they’re going to

[00:01:26] Cameron Watson: get a whippin? Yeah, something like that. You know, I, I shouldn’t name things.

[00:01:31] Cameron Watson: I mean, with my number seven child, we actually had to change his name afterwards and have his birth certificate and social security card changed because I should not name things ever because it, it, it was not working out. So, and your wife didn’t go

[00:01:49] Kyle Jetsel: for, your wife just decided that Aloysius was not the name she wanted to have on his birth

[00:01:54] Cameron Watson: certificate.

[00:01:56] Cameron Watson: Well, Aloysius was okay, but the middle name of Nestle really threw her off. Yeah, Aloysius Nestle Watson. Yeah.

[00:02:08] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah, I think we’ve just given some people some ideas, haven’t we? By the way, you know, you know where Aloysius comes from. I don’t know if you know.

[00:02:14] Cameron Watson: I don’t,

[00:02:15] Kyle Jetsel: no. Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure is a movie with, uh, well, you might have heard of Pee Wee Herman.

[00:02:24] Cameron Watson: Yeah.

[00:02:27] Kyle Jetsel: At one point in his movie, it’s a deep cut, right? Only people that really love Pee wee Herman have ever heard that his middle name is Aloysius. Because you really gotta pay attention, or you’ll just completely miss

[00:02:38] Cameron Watson: it. That’s funny. So his full name is Pee wee Aloysius Herman? Yeah, yeah.

[00:02:46] Kyle Jetsel: That’s, that’s his full name.

[00:02:49] Cameron Watson: Yeah, I would have never gotten

[00:02:50] Kyle Jetsel: there. You just said something interesting, and I want to, I want to pick at you about this, okay? Because I’ve seen this. You said, our family was going through some, did you use the word challenges or difficulties? You said a word there. Our family was

[00:03:04] Cameron Watson: going through some things.

[00:03:05] Cameron Watson: Hard

[00:03:06] Kyle Jetsel: times.

[00:03:10] Kyle Jetsel: And so, you said, so, I said, here’s a chance to build a business. And you got them together. So my question to you is usually when people are going through hard times or facing challenges, it’s hard to, um, it’s almost like you have to get out of the chaos first before you make a decision. And it sounds like you just set them down and said, Hey, let’s, and you didn’t, you didn’t try to escape the, you didn’t try to get your head above water before you said, let’s take a step in this direction.

[00:03:47] Kyle Jetsel: I’m curious about that thought

[00:03:48] Cameron Watson: process. Yeah. Well, I’ll tell you, we kept waiting for things to get better.

[00:03:56] Cameron Watson: we can. In fact, it got. So if you rewind a few years, um, my daughter had heart surgery. Another child of mine broke her back. I ended up having an abscess in my lung. My wife had six or seven surgeries within a short period of time, and it was one thing after another. My nephew committed suicide. my other nephew attempted to commit suicide.

[00:04:24] Cameron Watson: My son started struggling with suicide ideation, um, and self harm. And I just, I kept, I kept going, well, this has got to be the bottom, you know, can’t get worse than this. And then it would. And, um, I stopped telling people at church what was going on because it just got, you know, It got ridiculous. You know, when, when more than one person in a given week says, Oh, you’re, you know, you sound like job.

[00:04:58] Cameron Watson: It’s not, um, that’s not a compliment in a lot of ways. It’s, uh, it’s interesting to be the recipient of that. And I know that their hearts were in the right place and they were just trying to say, wow, you’re going through an awful lot. But, um, you know, I, I went back and I read the job story and number one, yeah.

[00:05:19] Cameron Watson: Uh, none of my immediate family had been, uh, had passed away. And then number two, my wife didn’t tell me to curse God and die, so… I knew I wasn’t where Jobe was, but we had had one thing after another. And then my oldest daughter, so my daughter, Mary broke her back. And then, so we’ve been going through these things, struggling.

[00:05:43] Cameron Watson: And every time I thought, okay, we’ve turned the corner. We’re starting to go up. Something else would happen. And my daughter, Elizabeth was in a horrible car accident, rolled multiple times and she broke her back. And so that’s two broken backs, right? And then. Moving forward, things continuing to, to go wrong and some things going right.

[00:06:02] Cameron Watson: And we feel blessed for being able to overcome those things we were able to overcome, but then we would get hit with another major thing. And I remember when my son broke his back, it was ridiculous. Um, this was the third broken back in less than three years. And, uh, my, I think my, I think it was my daughter, Rachel.

[00:06:26] Cameron Watson: Who’s number six of eight. Um, when we told her that Hyatt broke his back, she just laughed and it wasn’t mean, right? It was just like, well, of course he broke his back. Right. Exactly. Yeah. So anyway, and, uh, then the final straw that broke our back, right. The final straw in our family, I was in a car accident and I suffered a pretty severe concussion and I was hurt physically.

[00:06:56] Cameron Watson: My back and stuff, but the concussion made it impossible for me to work. I couldn’t look at my monitor. Um, it was the place I was working. They tried to adjust my schedule and it, I became a middleman. So I would take a message from the leadership team and then pass it on to the people who were doing it.

[00:07:16] Cameron Watson: And it was, they, they tried to, they tried to make it work and they, they treated me the way that you hope a business will treat you when they’re small and they can’t, they can’t. They can’t survive and take care of you at the same time. And so, uh, they had to let me go. And so then now I’m unemployed and I’m battling depression.

[00:07:43] Cameron Watson: That, that was an interesting thing that after the car accident and the concussion, I got really depressed. And, um, every time I rode in the car, I had anxiety inside. And that was like new. Um, just every time someone would hit the brake, I, I would tense up and I would start looking around for. You know, cars to see if they were going to hit us.

[00:08:04] Cameron Watson: It was just bizarre things. And I talked to Sara and I said, I think we need to start sharing our story because we, like I said, we had stopped telling people. Because we were, we were the family that you could count on. We were the ones who would show up. I, we, if someone needed help, we were there. Uh, we, we handled what I thought was a lot.

[00:08:28] Cameron Watson: It turns out it wasn’t much at all. But we were the ones who would serve. We would come rake your leaves during the middle of in the middle of covid. We, um, our volunteer men’s organization, the paint the town of Boise. They shut it down because they weren’t able to do things. And yet there was a family who was counting on it.

[00:08:48] Cameron Watson: And so our organization just stepped in and did it and painted their home. And yeah. You know that it was just normal for us to do things and to serve. And then as things started to happen, it was like, Oh yeah, this is weird. This happened. And then another thing weird that happened. They thought I had cancer cause I had this big abscess inside my lung.

[00:09:12] Cameron Watson: And, uh, we just stopped telling people because it was so ridiculous. And then I talked to Sara and I was like, you know, we can’t, we can’t hide, we can’t hide this anymore. We need to start sharing it with people. And I think we can help others. who, who may be going through the same thing or may not know that they’re about to go through something.

[00:09:37] Cameron Watson: And maybe something that we’ve learned along the way can help them, uh, move forward and, uh, progress. And so this was, my car accident was in April. Um, I was unemployed in May and in June we decided to start to record, um, our stories and to start to share them. And we’re not going for perfection. We’re not trying to make it awesome for anyone else.

[00:10:07] Cameron Watson: We’re just trying to get all of the stuff out so we can kind of figure out where we’re at and then maybe start to help other people. And, uh, two weeks ago I interviewed someone with my wife for the first time outside of our family and outside of, you know, our discussions. And, uh, it was really interesting.

[00:10:28] Cameron Watson: It was a couple who had had a stroke. And it was so fun to hear their story and hear how they were able to overcome things. And even though I’m, I didn’t vote for the name connect and conquer, I did get behind it rather quickly when I realized that to overcome adversity, anxiety, and depression. You have to have connection with yourself, others, and deity.

[00:10:54] Cameron Watson: And that, that really solidified it for me. And I talked to each one of my kids and asked them, how are you going to help people connect with themselves? Others or deity, and they all had answers that just blew me away. My daughter, Mary, she says through the written word. And so she started a website and I’m going to get it wrong, but it’s like, love, Mary Carolyn is her website.

[00:11:21] Cameron Watson: And she’s, she’s writing the newsletter for connecting conquer. And it’s going to be a physical newsletter and it’ll go out. The first one goes out at the end of October and it’s, um, that’s her gift. And then my daughter, Elizabeth. Uh, she’s really into journaling and that’s one of the ways you can connect with yourself is by journaling or to write inventories.

[00:11:43] Cameron Watson: If you’re, if you’ve ever been exposed to a 12 step program, it’s one of those things where you identify your, and you connect with yourself. And then another step is to connect with deity. We, all of the kids had things to share. And one of the most surprising things is even my seven year old, there’s a clip that, um, I’ll text Sara and ask her to send it to me so I can send it to you, but we are up camping and we were talking about.

[00:12:15] Cameron Watson: Anxiety and what causes anxiety. And my seven year old son said, I said, is there anything else? And my seven year old says, yeah, um, it anxiety is like when all the things come at you at once and you can’t do anything because they’re all there. You know, he’s seven years old and he understood what it felt like to be overwhelmed and his, um, his innocence about life.

[00:12:47] Cameron Watson: Uh, it just, it comes through as you realize that this kid who’s. Family has been through the ringer knows what it’s like to have anxiety when everything comes at you at once, and you don’t know, you can’t do the first thing because you don’t know where to start. So that’s, that’s really where it came from and our desire to help others.

[00:13:12] Cameron Watson: And I’m a firm believer that you got to get out of your own way. Um, I don’t like to wallow and I felt like I wasn’t able to serve others because I kind of got into a rut of where people would ask me how I’m doing and instead of being pleased to see them and I just wanted to avoid them and I wanted to isolate because I was depressed and I didn’t have good news to share, you know, it’s like, oh, well, Sara had another surgery.

[00:13:43] Cameron Watson: Yeah, this time I’m packing the wound. They left it open. So I take gauze and I stick it into her stomach through an open wound and I pack it twice a day. Yeah, that’s how I’m doing. How are you? Right? It just got to that point and I realized that I was losing, I was losing the battle of life and I wasn’t a good sports, I wasn’t playing the game of life fairly.

[00:14:13] Cameron Watson: And I was, I was that sour, curmudgeon, yucky person, and that’s not who I want to be. I want to be someone who can uplift and help. And so by just accepting the fact that this is how my life is, okay, now what? I’m not going to just worry about, Oh, everything goes wrong. You know, what is it going to be this month?

[00:14:38] Cameron Watson: I’m going to start telling the stories of how we overcame. Because we have been overcoming. We’re still kicking. My son is alive. That’s a miracle. Two suicide notes and a self injury and deep, deep depression. He’s alive. Five hospitalizations in about a year. That’s, that’s a miracle. And we learned so much in that process.

[00:15:06] Cameron Watson: I hope we can share that with someone else so that if their kid, maybe their kid’s not going to be suicidal. Maybe it’s just a little bit of ideation or not wanting to live. Not wanting to die, but certainly not wanting to live. Maybe we can talk about some of the things that have helped us. And so that’s, that’s where it all came from.

[00:15:25] Cameron Watson: And then the question became, well, how are we gonna pay for this? And so we, uh,

[00:15:31] Kyle Jetsel: well, before you go deeper into that, before you go too deep in it, I wanna, I wanna back up a little bit, okay. Because I wanna, I wanna tie a bow on a couple things you said and make sure I’m clear here. All right. A couple of things you said that jumped out at me were one is every time you thought it was going to get better, it got worse.

[00:15:53] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah. And you were going to wait until it got better to do something, but you, it never happened, right? It continued to, you continue to have, uh, difficulties and challenges hit you. And as you start to get, and, and to go back to my original question, and I think this is the point that I think is as powerful that you’re saying one is.

[00:16:17] Kyle Jetsel: Um, I think too many of us live our lives thinking, okay, I can get through this challenge and get back to normal or happy or good life, right? We’re all searching for the white picket fence good life, right? And, and too many of us fall into a trap of, you know, it’s really difficult now. I’m in the chaos.

[00:16:42] Kyle Jetsel: When the chaos is over, I’ll make adjustments. Yeah, right. It’s almost the, uh, the story of the leaky roof, right? And the guy came over and said, you want me to, you want me to fix your leaky roof? No, it’s, it’s sunny. Don’t worry about it. And then the guy comes by and it’s raining and his roof is leaking and he says, well, don’t, don’t fix it.

[00:17:00] Kyle Jetsel: And I mean, you can’t fix it now. It’s raining as the water pours into his house. Right. Yeah. And I think, I think the, the lesson I’m learning from you, and I think we have both come, we both know this, but, and I think it’s what we live, which is you can’t wait to make adjustments or to make a plan until things get better.

[00:17:21] Kyle Jetsel: Right. When things are bad. That’s when you need to start making a plan and I love that you just in the middle of it You called your family together now, you could have said hey, we really need to help other people But we’re in too much trouble right now. You could have said that and it would have it would have been Justifiable, right?

[00:17:41] Kyle Jetsel: It’s very easy to do

[00:17:42] Cameron Watson: that. And I know I think I did that for a while I that that’s what was our norm, right? It was like, you know what? I’m not gonna volunteer here We got to take care of our own stuff. We need to stabilize We need to get our head above water and then we can help others.

[00:18:00] Kyle Jetsel: And you said, that’s the other thing that jumped out at me is you said you got to where there was so many difficulties in your life that you didn’t want to see people because you didn’t want to share your bad news and you started to isolate.

[00:18:12] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah, which when you’re depressed and not feeling good and you isolate you’re adding to that you’re adding a flint You know, you’re throwing wood on that fire right or leaves or paper something that burns real fast Right, you don’t want to be around other people because you are depressed or you’re discouraged or you’re You feel like the whole world is piling on, right?

[00:18:34] Kyle Jetsel: And so you, you don’t want to go, you can’t serve because you’re just trying to figure your own crap out, number one. Number two, if you do go serve and people say, how are you doing? You don’t want to lie about it. And you don’t, you’re not the kind that wants the sympathy or the empathy or whatever it is they do.

[00:18:51] Kyle Jetsel: It doesn’t make them feel better to know you’re struggling, right? I’ve, I’ve experienced this too, right? Somebody will say, how you doing? And I’ll say, Do you really want to know and they say, hi, you know, I’m not sure, you know, and I’m like, oh, I’m doing great because you don’t want to know, right? I think you might have turned your camera off, Cameron.

[00:19:12] Kyle Jetsel: Incidentally. Yeah. So sort of. There you go. To tie to tie a quick bow on that first question and and solidify the point, you know, my program for parents who have kids on the autism spectrum who are facing these at home autism challenges. I don’t call it, I call it thrive in chaos. Right. Right? I don’t call it stop the chaos or, you know, fix the, the chaos.

[00:19:44] Kyle Jetsel: I call it thrive in chaos because I think for us to assume that.

[00:19:53] Kyle Jetsel: It’s ever, we’re ever going to be given a break so that we can become happy, right? Or, or we’re, our life is going to stabilize so that, oh, now that my life is stabilized, I can be the person I really want to be, right? I can serve others or I can, I can uplift others. You know, I think your point, which I love is you called your kids in, in the middle of it.

[00:20:16] Kyle Jetsel: At some point you said, you know what? If I keep waiting, I’m never going to find a solution. I’m never going to address this. And so I would challenge those people listening, listen, if you’re in the middle of it and you’re trying to stabilize, one of the best ways to stabilize is to, is to grab your family, put them together and make a plan, right?

[00:20:36] Kyle Jetsel: That’s the, and I’ll tell you before Shelly passed away, I called my family together the Friday night before she passed away on Monday. And I called them together before it even happened. And I set some parameters and ground rules and said, here is what I’m going to do, no matter what. Right, and I said I wouldn’t because I think that’s gonna give me peace no matter what I think that’s gonna Help me and I would invite you to join me and it sounds like you invited your kids to join you as well Yeah, a big part of that as a parent is to is to calm yourself right when when chaos is erupting around you It’s easy to join in the chaos But if you can calm yourself, the storm will pass if you can calm yourself, right?

[00:21:27] Kyle Jetsel: And even if the storm is is around you and swirling and it’s hard if you’re calm as a parent, right? And you can see things in in a certain manner. It’s gonna calm your kids It’s gonna help them to say oh I see that mom and dad are together on this and they’re working at it and they’re gonna I can I can be comforted in that and Maybe join in all right Yeah, a couple things I think are pretty curious.

[00:21:59] Kyle Jetsel: Now I want to ask you, go ahead, Cameron. I’m gonna let you finish. I want to,

[00:22:03] Cameron Watson: well, I was going to say there’s, um, you know, going some of it. I’ve been talking to my, I’ve been training my kids in philosophy in the philosophy that I have towards life since they were babies. Right? That’s it. I have really great relationships with my kids.

[00:22:24] Cameron Watson: We discuss things. I ask them questions. We when they have a problem, we talk about it and it’s it’s one of the best things about being a dad. The I realized I wasn’t living the advice that I was giving my kids and

[00:22:43] Kyle Jetsel: that, by the way, as you said it, I just not just talk live, right? That those are my notes because I was gonna ask you about that.

[00:22:52] Kyle Jetsel: I was just going to ask you about that.

[00:22:54] Cameron Watson: So, um, one of the things that I told my kids when they were going through a hard thing, um, whether it was sports or rejection or something like that, I was like, well, Hey, don’t, don’t let your problem be your world, make it part of a bigger story. That can help you or other people and turn your adversity into something that is worthwhile beyond the experience of getting through it because getting through it is a step getting.

[00:23:24] Cameron Watson: More out of that step by living now that takes that takes some thought and I remember talking to one of my, my kids, they were having problems that they didn’t want to go to an activity anymore because they really didn’t like the people and I said, you know, this is a great opportunity. Let’s talk about it.

[00:23:45] Cameron Watson: Hey, do you think this is healthy? Do you think there’s what, what value could you get out of going? Thank you. Because it wasn’t the typical value, right? It wasn’t enjoyment, fun, building relationships. They didn’t want a relationship with these folk. So I said, well, what can you gain? And it was learning how to change your expectation from getting stuff for yourself to see if you can pour into others.

[00:24:15] Cameron Watson: And this, this theme of making it bigger than yourself, I, for me and my family, it became just about us and it was terrible. It wasn’t healthy. And so when we decided that we were going to share our stories, it’s, it’s odd and uncomfortable doing it. Now you’ve done a great job over the years and I’ve watched your videos and I’ve read your posts and I’ve read your articles and I’m like, okay.

[00:24:43] Cameron Watson: I know I can’t be Kyle, but I can be me. And so I just, regardless of what my family was going to do, I was going to start sharing the story, the stories. Now surprised me how enthusiastic all of them were going to be about it. And, you know, we have meet every Saturday morning and they’re fun. Uh, it’s our, it’s our business meeting and we get together, we talk about business, but the business is, it’s so weird, Kyle.

[00:25:20] Cameron Watson: It’s about how do we. How can we get this story out? How can we help more people? You know, this is the impact we’re having right now. And we, we are having an impact. It’s bizarre that we are, uh, let’s see, June, July, and we launched our website, I think in August. So we’re August, September, October. So three months in and the, the results we have based on numbers is just, it doesn’t make sense.

[00:25:52] Cameron Watson: And I’m not counting those as anything except exposure, but are, we’re, we’ve gotten good at getting stuff out of our minds and into the spoken word. And my kids are excited. I have three kids who are working for the company as their primary source of income. They don’t have other jobs. And that’s, that’s pretty exciting for me because I get to interact with them far more now as their boss than I ever did as their dad, you know?

[00:26:24] Cameron Watson: It’s very interesting to sit here and go, wow, we decided and I was not healthy, by the way, when we decided I could, I was limited to 2 hours of screen time at a time. And then I had to have two hours off and if I had a headache, I wasn’t to get on my screens at all. And that’s a horrible place to be for someone who makes their living at a computer screen or interacting in meetings.

[00:26:52] Cameron Watson: We decided before things got better at all and that, that was our focus. Get out of our own way, make this, oh, that’s hilarious, make it about, uh, others and how could we serve them. And really apply all the things we’ve been talking about as a dad to kid and as a spouses together. Let’s apply it. Let’s see what happens and see if we can improve.

[00:27:19] Cameron Watson: The experience even though we can’t there was literally nothing we could do about the environment or the things that were happening to us We couldn’t change the fact that two Uh that three of my kids are on the autism spectrum. There was that we can’t change that we can’t fix that So what could we change?

[00:27:38] Cameron Watson: What could we? Adjust well, we could adjust what our where our vision was We could adjust what we did every day and we could adjust how we handled The next thing that is coming that there is something coming. I don’t know what it is, but I’m not gonna, I’m not, I’m no longer waiting to get back to this idealistic normal.

[00:28:03] Cameron Watson: Did we have an idealistic family situation before? Oh yeah. You know, we were, we were flying, we were cruising through life. I loved every aspect of my life. And people would complain. I’d be like, well, they have a bad attitude. Yeah, no, I just problems. Right. Then I got some problems. Oh, this is harder. Life is harder than it was, has ever been for me and my family, but it’s okay.

[00:28:36] Cameron Watson: I’ll get back to where it was easy. Nope. Oh man, it got worse. Now. I just want to get back to where I thought it was hard. And you know, now I’m like, you know what, if this is the way my life is, the rest of my mortality. I’m okay with it. I, I can get joy and I can serve and I can expand and I can grow where I’m at.

[00:29:01] Cameron Watson: I don’t have to wait for something else that is outside of my control.

[00:29:08] Kyle Jetsel: I’m going to, I’m going to touch on two things. You talked about impact to others, right? And I’m curious and I don’t want to, I don’t want you to answer this until I tell you the second thing, but I want you to go back and answer this.

[00:29:24] Kyle Jetsel: Okay, I’m curious about the impact that the effort of having an impact on others is having on your kids and you Okay, so I’m going to turn it back to the right the Productive narcissist in me. Okay, right So I want to I want to hear a little bit about that because I know it’s changed your family trying to serve others Has obviously had an impact on others, but I know it’s had an impact on you and your kids.

[00:29:51] Kyle Jetsel: And I want to hear about that a little bit, but I want to share with you a, a, an example of a story I had a few years ago where I was working with a guy whose wife had had a baby and he, he was coming into work looking, I could tell he was getting beaten down worse and worse as he was coming into work.

[00:30:11] Kyle Jetsel: And after a while I could see, I could. I could see that it was tough on him, right? And having a new baby’s tough on everybody. I get it, right? It’s you don’t get any sleep. There’s a lot going on. But I went to this guy and I said, hey, what’s going on? It seems like, you know, you’re carrying the weight of the world and he said, well, my wife is having some real severe postpartum and I don’t know where this is going to lead.

[00:30:35] Kyle Jetsel: I’m nervous that it’s, it’s so bad that, that, you know, I don’t know. I don’t know if should I put her in the hospital or institutionalize or I mean, it was all these different options, but it was It was at a point where he was concerned about next steps and it was roughing him

[00:30:56] Cameron Watson: up, right? Yeah. Oh, that’s hard.

[00:30:58] Cameron Watson: I remember

[00:30:59] Kyle Jetsel: having a chat with him and we just talked about a few things and eventually We kind of took the process you’re taking right now, which is through conversations We got to a point where where he said, you know what I said Are you gonna are you gonna leave your wife and he said no, I’m not gonna leave my wife And I said, okay, then it sounds like you need to make a plan to do something besides be beat down.

[00:31:27] Kyle Jetsel: I could see it. Right? Yeah. And, and we kind of talked through some things and we kind of created some ideas and he went off on his own. And I remember the next day he came in and he was doing pretty good. The next day he was doing better. And the next day he was doing better. And over a couple of days I said, Hey, what’s going on?

[00:31:42] Kyle Jetsel: You look like, is your wife recovering? Is everything getting better? And he’s like, no, I have a plan. And I’m working on my plan. I’m taking action and working my plan. And it’s the, the idea that I’m working towards a goal is changing the way I view it, right? And you might even know this, I don’t even, you might know this guy, Cameron.

[00:32:04] Kyle Jetsel: I don’t even, I don’t know if you, you might know this guy.

[00:32:08] Cameron Watson: Well, I, I wouldn’t, it wouldn’t surprise me. We, we run in a lot of the same circles, which is weird because we are not geographically, you know, we’ve not been in the same area, but.

[00:32:20] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah. Right. And, uh, it was interesting, but the idea that when you’re facing, right, when you’re in the middle of something, it’s hard and you just want it to be done.

[00:32:34] Kyle Jetsel: Right. But I think it can happen sometimes, and I’ll share one more story before I want to get back to your kids and the changes made in them. I used to, back when I lived in Texas years ago, maybe 20 years ago, I worked for a company that was, I was the only white guy in the whole company. Okay, it was about 15 black people and me, right?

[00:32:54] Kyle Jetsel: And I was their outside salesman, and I did a lot of work for them. But anyway, it was a big family company, and they brought me in to do some very specific work. And I loved it. I loved the, the interaction. It was a, it was a great company. The owner was, he was just the greatest guy. But one of the interesting things was, he had his, his sister did his books.

[00:33:14] Kyle Jetsel: And she was an older lady. And she was… I’m going to say this gently, hard to get along with, right? She was the owner’s sister, so everybody kind of had to get along with her. But she was hard to get along with for everybody. Yeah. And I’ve always been the kind that, you know, I don’t really like to be frustrated, I like to be fascinated.

[00:33:37] Kyle Jetsel: Right, I get, I’ll ask her questions, right? About things in her life and her story. And she liked telling me about all this stuff, right? I mean, people like talking about themselves. And so, it got to the point where she finally… I think she felt bad because I was so friendly with her. And she said to me, Kyle, I feel kind of bad that I’ve treated you this way.

[00:34:02] Kyle Jetsel: But she said, my son. Went in for minor surgery, and he passed away in minor surgery, and I’m in a lawsuit with Hospital and that’s the reason I’m so bitter and angry right now She said as soon as this is over I can get back to myself right and I said oh, you know what I understand I get it life’s not easy right and and well The the lawsuit was finalized and everything was right back to normal, and it was interesting because I noticed she Moved her bitterness and I wouldn’t say anger as much as I’d say just kind of hard to get along with this to another thing Yeah, and then I would go in and talk to her and she would say sorry, I’m a little moody You know, this is going on in my life.

[00:34:56] Kyle Jetsel: And as soon as that’s over I can be back to my normal self Well as you can probably tell the rest of the story That was over. Something else came up, made her mad, you know, gave her a reason to be unkind and rude and not very nice sometimes. And after the fourth or fifth time, I saw a pattern, you know?

[00:35:18] Kyle Jetsel: And so we were having a pretty good conversation one day. She seemed to be in a pretty good mood. And I thought, now may be the time to say maybe there’s a pattern, right? I learned a big lesson here.

[00:35:32] Kyle Jetsel: Don’t tell the boss’s sister. You see a pattern, , that was the lesson I learned because what happened is I became the bitter Gretchen and it made me start to realize that living that way, even if things aren’t, I think we, we create patterns in our lives for a lot of things. Mm-hmm. And I think if we, and, and I find this in a lot of autism parenting, right?

[00:35:58] Kyle Jetsel: They have to fight for their kids and fight for advocacy and fight for the I E P and fight for services and fight for this, and they become fighters. And that fighting bleeds into everything they do, right? And they become fighters and they become, they’re angry at the state and at the, at the world and at the country and at God and, and they become these angry people, right?

[00:36:18] Kyle Jetsel: And it bleeds into their kids. It bleeds into their relationships with other people. And I think, um, it can become easy for it’s, it’s common to find people. And I’m not attaching this to you because I know, I know you and I know it. Things have hit your family, right? I know, right? It’s, and so, and a lot of it’s just been outside forces that you have no control of, right?

[00:36:45] Kyle Jetsel: Which is the kind of, the worst. But it’s easy to fall into patterns of thinking, when you say, I found this in myself, when I say, yeah, what else is going to happen? Well, something else happens. You ask that question, you get answered. Right. Or it really can’t get much worse than this. And it and then it does because you’ve asked that question and you right.

[00:37:06] Kyle Jetsel: And so I think it’s a trap that we can all fall into number one. Right. But number two, I think it’s not a bad idea to start reframing those those thoughts.

[00:37:18] Cameron Watson: Right. And so how do you reframe the acceptance that mortality is full of trials and life is how do you how do you reframe that? Because there’s an acceptance.

[00:37:33] Cameron Watson: That is very empowering in that process of realizing it’s the humility that comes out of the fact that you know what this is, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you. There’s good for me. How the heck

[00:37:47] Kyle Jetsel: I’ll tell you. There’s, I have an interesting story in that because my dad, when I was a kid, I think I’ve told this story.

[00:37:54] Kyle Jetsel: We used to go to Beaumont every year.

[00:37:56] Cameron Watson: Uh,

[00:37:57] Kyle Jetsel: adventure 300 mile Beaumont. Every time we’d go, we’d break down and we’d sit there on the side of the road for four or five, six hours waiting for help. And I asked my dad, why do we keep doing this? You know, we’re going to break down. My dad said, well, it’s just a trip until something goes wrong.

[00:38:11] Kyle Jetsel: Then it’s an adventure. And he said it with this big smile, right? And it changed me and I realized life is kind of boring. You know, days can kind of meld into each other pretty easily, right? Until something goes wrong, horribly wrong. Right? Okay. You can disagree. But my point is this, we can. It’s, it’s the acceptance number one, but the second part is now it’s an adventure because I get to write a script for how I manage this, what I do.

[00:38:43] Kyle Jetsel: The other thing I think. We do in our family is like, we’ll be driving and we’ll have a flat tire, right? And usually it feels like it’s when you’re late to church or when you’re going somewhere important, right? Yeah, and so you say, you know, why now this is the worst time for a flat But in reality probably the best time in the world for a flat, you know what I’m saying?

[00:39:06] Kyle Jetsel: It really is right or people that say With my luck, so and so’s gonna happen. Right. We don’t say that. In my family, we say in our fa in our family, we say, well, with my luck, some good crap’s gonna happen . Right. We just, there’s a lot of things that become these repeatable things we say. Right. Me and my kids tend to go to Walmart in the evenings after everything’s the day is done, right?

[00:39:32] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah. They, with football and basketball and craziness. We go at nine o’clock and I was pull into Walmart and there’s no, there’s really nobody at Walmart towards the evening. And so I always get a spot right in front. And I always tell my kids, no, I got this spot. Don’t you? And they say, why is that? I say, cause I’m living right now.

[00:39:53] Kyle Jetsel: They don’t even like here. I’ll say, you know, I got this spot, they’ll say, you’re living right? I’ll say, yeah. You know, now I’ll say, you know, I got the spot and they say, shut up, dad. But I know it affects them. Right? I know it. I know they hear it. They know. Right. I think the idea is to say is, you know, a lot of it is just this optimistic attitude.

[00:40:15] Kyle Jetsel: Right. And it’s a learned thing for me because that’s not my natural inclination is to, is to face things with a certain, with the say, you know what, I’ll share another story with you. Yeah, I want to get I’m gonna let you talk. So one of my favorite basketball players of all time is Magic Johnson Oh, yeah, right Matt Hudson.

[00:40:40] Kyle Jetsel: I’m a huge fan of Magic Johnson. I love the way he played the game I love the way he was unselfish. I love the way had a big giant smile on his face all the time He loved it, right? Yeah. Well during the height of his career Magic Johnson And this is so long ago many people may not know contracted AIDS.

[00:40:57] Kyle Jetsel: Mm hmm at that time AIDS was a death sentence Yep, okay And when he contracted AIDS and it was made public, he had people coming out of the woodworks calling him, crying, you know, they thought he was going to die. And I’ll never forget a story of a trainer. I heard this story from a trainer who was very close to Magic and couldn’t call him.

[00:41:25] Kyle Jetsel: He didn’t want to, he couldn’t call him, he couldn’t talk to him, he was so distraught. And a Magic Johnson has an infectious personality. Absolutely. People love that. Well, eventually this trainer, he says, you know, a month later, he said, magic is going to be so mad at me. I haven’t called him in a, you know, he thinks I probably don’t care.

[00:41:45] Kyle Jetsel: And he called matching. He said, magic. I, the reason I didn’t call is because this is, I’m, I’m distraught, hurt so bad for you. And here’s what magic told him. Magic said, Hey, don’t you worry about it. If anybody is going to survive this, it’s going to be me, right? And the guy, hey buddy. And the guy, he said in the, in his worst moment and in Magic’s, Magic probably thought it was a, who knows, you know, Magic turned to that guy and said, dude, I’m the man for this challenge.

[00:42:24] Kyle Jetsel: I am the man for this challenge. Right? Now, when you, if you know Magic Johnston, you know it wasn’t said in arrogance. Right. Right? That’s not who he is. And so I’m going to say this in, with no arrogance. And I, it’s kind of sounds arrogant sometimes, but. When people say to me, I couldn’t live through what you’ve lived through, I say, you know what?

[00:42:50] Kyle Jetsel: You could. And guess what? Or they say, I don’t know how you’re doing it. I say, I’m the man. This is, I am going to be the model for how to handle this. That’s who I am. Now, do I really think God is saying, oh yeah, I got something else for you? No, I don’t think that. I don’t think that’s the way he thinks. I hope.

[00:43:11] Kyle Jetsel: That’s not the way he thinks. Right. Right. I hope he’s not going, Kyle’s handling this a little too well. What can I hit him with now that, you know, I don’t think he does that. I don’t think that’s the way God looks at us. Right. I think he wants us to, to endure well. Right. But I, but I, I think he lets things happen.

[00:43:33] Kyle Jetsel: And I think our job is to endure well. Right. And to say, and to have that confidence. Because we’re going to take action and because we’re going to get our family together and we’re going to say hey, let’s do this Let’s let’s face this challenge head on Let’s you know I don’t know if you know that bison face as storms come in bison face the storm head on, right?

[00:43:58] Kyle Jetsel: Because yeah, they’re they’re built that way right and and it’s really interesting It’s an interesting concept to they’re not afraid of those storms. I mean, maybe they are I can’t read a bison’s mind But they turn into it right and I think what you’re talking about when you talk about getting your kids together and saying hey What are we gonna do?

[00:44:21] Kyle Jetsel: Let’s let’s be action takers here. Let’s take action and turn into it, right? And so I think that’s kind of what you’re talking about is is and what I believe is the best way Now, it doesn’t mean we’re not gonna be shocked by the power of the storm. Sometimes I’ve written about that. Yeah, sometimes I’m Shocked I’m shocked at things the power of that storm and the And it’s humbling when I feel so attacked by the adversary, right?

[00:44:53] Kyle Jetsel: It’s Absolutely, and I’m I’m on the edge Right. I mean push to the edge of what I think I can manage Right. I mean right up to the edge even to a point where i’m like, I can’t do this anymore I need I gotta have help from deity, right? I got it I need my lifeline and I am pulling that lifeline at this moment, right?

[00:45:15] Kyle Jetsel: And I think that’s kind of when some storms are so powerful and frequent Right? And they keep hitting you and you think, when is this storm going to end? I think taking action is a big part of that, right? And also saying, this is an adventure that I’m going to be on. What do I get out of it? I can get bitter, frustrated, angry.

[00:45:36] Kyle Jetsel: I can get mad at the world, mad at God, or I can get the good stuff. What’s the good stuff I can get? And then you talked about that.

[00:45:43] Cameron Watson: Yeah. You know, it’s funny. Go ahead.

[00:45:47] Kyle Jetsel: Well, finish up in there. I want to ask you about your kids and what it’s done for them.

[00:45:51] Cameron Watson: Okay. So you, you said something that I think is interesting because you, you, uh, for you, optimism is a learned behavior.

[00:46:00] Cameron Watson: I think that’s kind of how you said it. I didn’t get it exactly right. But for me, Optimism was my natural state. And so it almost sounds like we both had to get a little balance in our perception of the world. And so for me, uh, a lot of my inaction was caused by my belief, my optimism that this too shall pass.

[00:46:29] Cameron Watson: This is going to be fine. It’s going to get better. It was, it was natural for me, it, people would be like, when it first started happening, Kyle, the first stuff, one right after another, right after another, I was just shaking it off. I’d go to church and people would be like, I heard this happen. I’d be like, yeah, isn’t that crazy?

[00:46:49] Cameron Watson: How are you doing? Oh, I’m doing great. You know, it’s going to be fine. Life’s good. God’s great. This is going to be, you know, we’ll get through this. No problem. No problem. And then things, you know what? I, I learned that, uh, an optimistic attitude by itself can just be as big of a barrier to taking action as a negative attitude.

[00:47:18] Cameron Watson: And that for me was like, okay, I need to not just hope and pray to use your little thing that hoping a prayer is not a plan, right? That’s your quote, right? It’s good. It’s good. Quote, um, hoping on the prayer is a good way to go for me. Um, and you know, you asked the question, how did this affect my, my kids?

[00:47:48] Cameron Watson: Well, I saw the biggest change in my, uh, 18 year old son who, uh, he was the one when, you know, a few years ago was battling the suicide ideation and the massive depression and the self harm. Um, by, by turning it into serving others and helping others, he got extraordinarily passionate and did his lows are probably, you know, it’s hard to quantify things, but let’s just say, uh, 3000, uh, 3000 depth, uh, what is where he had gotten before his low, the lowest I’ve seen him since we’ve started trying to help others on purpose with focus.

[00:48:37] Cameron Watson: I think the lowest he’s gone is probably a thousand, you know, about a third as bad as it’s been in the past and that didn’t last very long. So the depth of his depression and anxiety was far shallower and the longevity of it, it was actually quite short compared to, um, you know, the, I call them ruts when you, you know, if you’re, if you’ve ever been in a true rut, Even with a car with awesome tires, sometimes if that red is deep enough and you’re, you’re not getting out of it without getting momentum going, and then you can climb the sides.

[00:49:21] Cameron Watson: But if you’re just trying to wiggle your way out without moving, it never happens. Um, anyway, so for my, the biggest change was probably for him. Um, is that turn of that focus? And, uh, we’ve recorded some videos together and he has now, uh, he’s taken on more and more just himself and he’s not getting compensated by connect and conquer, uh, for the content he’s creating.

[00:49:52] Cameron Watson: None of us do. Uh, but my older kids, my older three kids, they’re getting compensated. Very poorly for the work they’re doing, trying to get things out and, and moved over so that we can start getting into a rhythm of sharing and with our game that’s being released in October or at the end of this month in probably 10 days, really exciting that they’re going to be a big part of that part and it’s.

[00:50:26] Cameron Watson: The focus has shifted to, Oh my goodness, can you believe this to, Oh, that’s going to be some interesting content. How do we express it accurately in a way that’s relatable for others? So a lot of the details we don’t, we don’t share all the details yet because it’s simply not readable, right? Yeah, we have kids on the autism spectrum.

[00:50:52] Cameron Watson: Okay. A typical family doesn’t have that. So, you know, it’s not our main focus. Our main focus is the, the external things that happen to us. And we just happen to have a lot of those things. And one or two of them are relatable to others. And so it’s a mix, but the focus for the kids, um, my relationship with the kids have got, has gotten more intimate.

[00:51:18] Cameron Watson: Because we’ve been able to process some things that we were, we weren’t. It’s not like we were avoiding the subject, but we weren’t analyzing it to see how this could be helpful to someone else. And that, that changed that it’s almost therapeutic. I’m going to say it is therapeutic, but I’m not a doctor and I’m not a counselor.

[00:51:39] Cameron Watson: I have a great counselor, uh, who I’m very grateful for, but it’s, um. It allows us to get out of our own way so that we don’t hold this thing that’s happened to us, not by, not as consequences of what we’ve done to ourselves. Right there. That’s, that’s painful enough, but this, right. Our internal things. that just happened because of mortality.

[00:52:05] Cameron Watson: We’re living in mortality. Car accidents happen. Brain injuries happen. Broken backs happen. Uh, hi, uh, hernias happen. Uh, infections happen. These are things that happen and it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world. And now. It’s okay. How can this help someone else? If we knew that this was going to happen, what advice would we give ourselves in the future?

[00:52:35] Cameron Watson: And how can we express that in a way someone else can absorb it? Maybe sock it away so that when this thing or something like it does happen, they can then pull it out of their filing cabinet and just go. You know what? The Watsons, they dealt with some pretty hard things. Let’s try one of their techniques.

[00:52:55] Cameron Watson: So

[00:52:56] Kyle Jetsel: I’m, I’m, I’m loving what I’m hearing and I’m going to, I’m going to tie another bow on a few things here and you tell me on my phone off. Okay. Okay. It almost sounds like me and we do this in our family. We talked about this years ago, stepping outside of ourselves and looking in at ourselves as if we’re a third person.

[00:53:13] Kyle Jetsel: Right. Yeah. And you talked about analyzing can be helpful. Yeah. Right. It’s, um, you almost got a, Step outside your world and look into your world from the outside, right? And say, yes, because hey, Kyle, really? Hold

[00:53:28] Cameron Watson: on. You just hit on something that is the truth from my perspective if you analyze What is going on without being outside of yourself you get analyst you get paralyzed There’s some saying I can’t say it but

[00:53:46] Kyle Jetsel: Analysis paralysis.

[00:53:47] Cameron Watson: That’s it. That’s where that comes from because you, you get so, it it, it’s overwhelming. But if you can shift it into how can I make this good for others and let’s analyze it external it that analyze that analyzation is less likely to cause paralysis or to prevent you from moving. So anyway, I just wanted hit that because it’s such a powerful principle when you’re going through the sludge and the muck and the mud.

[00:54:21] Cameron Watson: Yeah, stop, stop analyzing the muck and the mud, and take a step back and analyze how you’re getting through the muck and the mud, and what can be different or better. As you take another step forward.

[00:54:36] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah. We talk, we talk a lot about writing your own movie. Oh, that’s a good one. Right. And you can’t really, you can’t really write your own movie from within yourself.

[00:54:44] Kyle Jetsel: You have to step outside your own world and say, how would Kyle handle this if he was, had his crap together? You know? Yeah. How would, if faced this challenge, how would a hero face this challenge? Right? Mm-hmm. how, and, and it’s, that sounds really silly, but my kids and I have talked about this a lot, right?

[00:55:02] Kyle Jetsel: I mean, The hero and the villain have the same story, right? They were beaten, battered, and destroyed when they were young and the hero and the villain says, I was beaten and battered and destroyed, and so I’m going to beat and batter and destroy the world. And he becomes a villain, right? And the hero says, I was beaten and battered and destroyed, and I’m not letting that happen to anybody else.

[00:55:22] Kyle Jetsel: I’m going to save the world, right? And that’s a lot of it is saving yourself is stepping outside and saying, okay, stop, stop everything that’s going on. Stop analyzing internally and step outside and say, I’m going to write this script. That’s a, it’s a triumph over tragedy. Right? I’m, you know, and I’m going to be the hero of my own story.

[00:55:43] Kyle Jetsel: How does the hero turn this into gold, right? And so it’s a pretty, the other thing you said I loved, which is you said your son, and I believe this, and I haven’t very often heard you say, I just spouted a truth. So I appreciate that. That might be the first time in all the amount of time we’ve talked

[00:56:02] Cameron Watson: is, uh, I thought it often, but I haven’t interrupted for it though.

[00:56:06] Kyle Jetsel: Okay. That makes me feel a little bit better. I thought it was his first time. Uh, you said your son, your 18 year old son, he’s got a passion for it, right? And I’ve always believed that there’s a couple of ways to, to create action, right? The best way to create action is through passion. Passion is the fuel for action, right?

[00:56:34] Kyle Jetsel: And I think it’s hard to be passionate about ourselves. It’s really hard to say it almost feels arrogant or. narcissistic or whatever, right? But it’s easy to be passionate about helping others or, or knowing that your story if designed properly or written properly can help others and, and can uplift others, right?

[00:56:59] Kyle Jetsel: It’s, that’s what we want to do. Right. And it’s the opposite of, you know, you mentioned, and I’m going to, I’m going to touch on this a little bit. I want to hear your opinion of it because we’re talking about connect and conquer. And I think you mentioned you’d had, you’ve had a cousin commit suicide, another one.

[00:57:17] Kyle Jetsel: Attempt suicide and your son has been in that realm too.

[00:57:22] Cameron Watson: Yeah, my nephews One committed suicide another one attempted and they were all the same age as my son

[00:57:30] Kyle Jetsel: which leads me to There’s connection there too, right now. I’m not saying your son didn’t already have those thoughts But there’s there’s something in it.

[00:57:40] Kyle Jetsel: There’s something called mass hysteria if you study it, right? There’s this It’s a connection point. It can be a connection point. There was a, in recent years, and I think it’s one of Malcolm Gladwell’s books again, he talks about, I think in the Philippines, they had this, uh, uh, suicide problem in, in teen boys between the age of 14 and 18 that was out of control for 10 years.

[00:58:06] Kyle Jetsel: And, and it was because it became this, this thing that, that boys are looking at and going, wait a minute, when he’s gone, everybody talks good about him. You know, they, they, he, he becomes this hero. He died young. He’s like, you know, It’s it and it there’s a lot of and there’s connection there in that direction, right?

[00:58:27] Kyle Jetsel: We can use connection in a lot of ways, right? And I love what you said at the very beginning Connect with yourself connect with others and connect with deity. Mm hmm, right? It’s when you’re doing those things when you’re connecting with yourself and others and deity Deity is an important part of that because if you connect with self and you connect with others you can connect with others in harmful Ways sure, right?

[00:58:49] Kyle Jetsel: No, my kids have never been around Suicide Right. That’s that would be a brand new. It’s not even something on the table for my kids. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But it could be put on the table pretty quickly. Yeah. Right. It’s not in their group of associates. Right. Yeah. And so it’s important. And it’s, you know, it’s, we got to pay attention to who our kids watch and what they do and what they’re thinking about those things and all those.

[00:59:22] Kyle Jetsel: Right. And that’s part of connection with your kids. Right. In a spirit of love, right? And connecting with deity as well. So, I’m, I’m curious about, you said something earlier I want to touch on now, which is optimism is a learned thing for me. Optimism is a built in thing for you, but It caused you, you know, when the world beats the crap out of you, when the world beats the crap out of you and it will, you challenge your beliefs, right?

[01:00:00] Kyle Jetsel: Because your beliefs are beliefs because they have helped you create a reasonably good world to live in or a world that you create, right? Right. And so I would think somebody who was eternally optimistic be like you, but you’re saying at some point. The beatings got so hard and heavy and the storm is so strong.

[01:00:23] Kyle Jetsel: You’re like, I can’t just optimism my way over through this. That’s right. What, what did you, what was your, what was the cycle you went through when you, obviously you, you, you said that maybe subconsciously at one point, my optimism is not working. How did you not lose that optimism?

[01:00:43] Cameron Watson: Tell me. It was actually my wife who said it, your optimism isn’t going to help us out of this situation.

[01:00:53] Cameron Watson: I think that might have been a direct quote.

[01:00:56] Kyle Jetsel: So how did it, how did it, how did you rethink optimism never hurts, right? Or, or does it,

[01:01:05] Cameron Watson: well, I, so that’s something I’ll, I’ll think about for a while because I, there are very, very few virtues that taken to an extreme cannot become a vice. I think compassion is the one virtue that I haven’t been able to figure out how it becomes a vice.

[01:01:25] Cameron Watson: But for optimism, the, the simple belief that it’s going to be way better than okay can be an excuse not to do things that you need to do in order to help them be okay. And what, when my wife pleaded with me, that’s, uh, when she said that, that was her pleading with me. To do something to help the situation instead of just going about my merry way going, well, I don’t know about what you, I don’t know what’s going on here, but it’s going to be okay, you know, and that eternal optimism that spark internally knowing, and I truly believe that life is going to be way better than just okay.

[01:02:13] Cameron Watson: Okay. Is It’s not where we’re going to end up. It’s going to be way better than that. In fact, it informs my core belief structure so that when I get into religious discussions, um, sometimes the mercy aspect of God’s, um, plan for us of justice and mercy, I, I, I just embrace the mercy. Right? I hope it’s for everybody.

[01:02:41] Cameron Watson: The worst, my worst enemy in the world. I hope they’re in front of me in the line of the judgment bar, and I hope they get through because then I’m gonna be like, Oh, yes, they made it. Maybe I can too. Right? That that’s how I perceive the world. And right. Unfortunately, when your family is suffering from the reality of mortality, The belief by itself is not enough.

[01:03:14] Cameron Watson: The belief that it will get better by itself is not helpful. Uh, in fact, my wife and I have talked about this recently, uh, when someone has been struck with tragedy. When someone has been struck with the worst thing that I can think of, which is the premature death of a child by their own hand, that if your faith in God is that it’s going to be better than okay for them and you express it to them, that’s not a help to them.

[01:03:51] Cameron Watson: That’s not a comfort because they’re in the midst of the worst thing that could possibly be. And you’re basically you’re saying, hey, it’s going to be fine. That that that’s not action. That’s not anything that can help them. And Sara and I have talked to quite a bit about that aspect of trying to connect with people who are going, who are in the midst of going through it and most of the stuff we talk about is how do we say what they’ve expressed to us.

[01:04:27] Cameron Watson: We express it back. And by the way, this worked well with relationships to if, um, if, uh, yeah. Yeah. My daughters are dating fellas, right? And they, they don’t know where they stand. Well, of course you don’t. You’re dating. You don’t know where you stand. There’s no long term limit. But if you want to find out, ask them where they stand.

[01:04:50] Cameron Watson: And no matter what they say, say, I’m in the same boat. So if they say, well, I’d like to get to know you better. You respond, well, I’m in the same boat. And then they’ll think about it for a while and things will progress. It’s great. It’s a great little tidbit of thing when someone’s in the midst of the struggle and you say, hey How are you doing?

[01:05:11] Cameron Watson: And they say and I’ve told a couple of my friends this I I’m not doing well I like I don’t know how much more I can take and and their platitude is oh, it’s gonna be okay That’s not helpful. Do you know what’s really helpful is? Oh, man. It sounds like you’re in the depths of things And this is where, you know, we actually talked about this before and I didn’t push back a whole lot, you know, there’s an echo chamber, which you can get yourself in with a bunch of other people who are struggling and all you guys do, everybody just sits here and they just talk about how awful it is to be in the pit and nobody you.

[01:05:56] Cameron Watson: Leaves takes action. Nobody takes action. But if you’re in the middle of something or someone you know and care about is in the middle of something, it is, uh, completely appropriate to have compassion for ’em and, and repeat back to them what they said. And if you can put it in your own words, great. But if you can’t put it in your own words, ’cause you don’t understand, you can’t, you can’t even empathize with them, then just repeat back what they said.

[01:06:24] Cameron Watson: If they say, man, I’m having a hard time. I don’t know what to do. My wife hates me, you know. Oh man, it sounds like you’re having a hard time. Just repeat back. And all of a sudden that, that makes a connection. And then maybe, maybe, and not all the time, but maybe in the future you can help them. You know, give them a hand up.

[01:06:47] Cameron Watson: Give them a call later and say, hey, thinking about you. And there’s so much good that comes from these little things. There’s a, there’s a gal in the neighborhood and I would come home from work and she’d be sitting in our living room talking to my wife and I would just feel this warmth inside towards this woman because I knew that she was just there to be, to be with my wife as she suffered the things that we were going through.

[01:07:23] Cameron Watson: And watching that connection and what it would do for her was priceless. And so sometimes just being there with someone and repeating back what they say they’re going through. And a lot of times they don’t know how they feel about it because they’re still. Stuck and you gotta let them, you gotta give them to figure it out.

[01:07:47] Cameron Watson: You know, don’t solve their problems necessarily every time, but at some point, if you build that connection, maybe you can be part of the solution.

[01:07:59] Cameron Watson: There’s

[01:07:59] Kyle Jetsel: a, you reminded me of a. A story about the Coast Guard. I don’t know if you’ve heard this about the Coast Guard. When they go out, and they go out over the ocean and a boat is capsized, and there’s 20 people in the water, and their helicopter can only take five. They have to ask themselves, who do we save?

[01:08:19] Kyle Jetsel: Right? Now you might think, women and children. And you’d be wrong. The Coast Guard has a motto. And their motto is, we save those that are swimming towards us.

[01:08:34] Kyle Jetsel: Uh, you know, this is really, it’s, it’s a powerful thing to me because when I see people in pain, I know action can help. And I immediately want to say, Hey, I’ve got the answer. Fill out this form, think this way, do this. And, and I have to check myself very frequently and go into what you said, which is, Hey, just, just talk to me.

[01:08:54] Kyle Jetsel: I’ll listen, you know, tell me when you’re ready. You know, call me again or can I check back in with you in a week? And maybe they’re at that point then where, you know, or you can say, Hey, I’ve experienced something similar, but you don’t have to tell me how you, how you got out of it or how you got out of the rut.

[01:09:11] Kyle Jetsel: You can, you can, you know, have compassion and say. I went through an experience like this similarly, but I feel you, I understand. You don’t have to solve, but at some point they may say to themselves, Kyle mentioned he went through something like this. When you call them back a week later, they say, How’d you escape?

[01:09:28] Kyle Jetsel: Or, I’m feeling a little bit better about it. And a lot of times too, I think, You know, you and I have done this with each other. And you gotta be careful with this, but I know I can throw humor at you in the worst of times, and you, it just makes you grin.

[01:09:42] Cameron Watson: I love it. One of the best things ever I’ve also

[01:09:44] Kyle Jetsel: learned that doesn’t work with some people.

[01:09:47] Kyle Jetsel: That’s true. And they, they fall into the category of people that don’t like me, . Okay. And so I’ve, I’ve, you know, I’ve learned, I, I probably shouldn’t do that with them. Right? Yeah. You know, but the, sometimes just your energy, right? The energy you present or bring to them, they can draw on your energy, right?

[01:10:06] Kyle Jetsel: Your stability or your calmness or, uh, I had, I had a couple of gentlemen come over to check on me recently, uh, from our church, right? This is the month, next week is, is, it’ll be a year since Shelly passed away. Yeah. So, I’m sorry, two years. So it’s interesting when your wife passes away, everybody comes out of the woodworks to take care of you.

[01:10:31] Kyle Jetsel: Then everything fades away back to normal. And you’re left on your own, which I knew that was going to happen. I studied this. I knew I needed to set myself up for success, right? A year rolls around, everybody comes out of the woodworks again, right? To make sure you’re okay, and then they disappear again, right?

[01:10:51] Kyle Jetsel: Which is understandable, right? Yeah. I get it. This is the way the world works. I’m not, I’m not unique or special. Well, these two gentlemen came over and they’re checking on me and, um, and we have conversations. They say, how are you? And they’re asking me some pretty detailed, hard questions, right? And I know why, because not everybody has thought through, Hey, I’ve got this anniversary coming up, right?

[01:11:22] Kyle Jetsel: You said it. The belief that it’s going to get better by itself is a bad belief, right? I’m not going to let the two year anniversary, I’m not going to let it shock me. I know what it’s about, right? And so I’m talking with these two gentlemen. One of them at the end said to me, you know what? We came over here to check on you, and I’m leaving here feeling inspired.

[01:11:47] Kyle Jetsel: And I said, well, I appreciate that. I said, I appreciate that you guys have come to check on me, and your energy has helped me. You know, because you’ve helped me reiterate my plan, my plan of action, and you know I have one, right? And I think that it’s, it’s a powerful thing to just, they were just listening, and letting me express.

[01:12:10] Kyle Jetsel: What I needed to say out loud that I’ve written down and I have but I but just them hearing it and saying Sounds like you got a plan right and now I want your plan because I’m inspired It was it was a tremendous. It was a blessing to me for them to come right

[01:12:27] Cameron Watson: for

[01:12:28] Kyle Jetsel: multiple reasons right and so I’m curious about how the mentality change you’ve had from your your eternal optimism to You’re still an optimist.

[01:12:45] Cameron Watson: Oh yeah, absolutely. But

[01:12:52] Cameron Watson: yeah, go ahead. Sorry.

[01:12:57] Kyle Jetsel: I heard a guy one time say, if you think that things are going to get better by not addressing them, he said, leave your house for a year and then come back and see what your house looks like, right? He said, don’t talk to your wife for a year and then come back and see what the relationship is like, you know, don’t talk to your kids for a year and come back and see what the relation, he said, things don’t, things naturally crumble.

[01:13:23] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah, they naturally that’s the way the world works, you know, if you, if you leave a city for a year and you come back a year later, it’s crumbling, right? It takes upkeep

[01:13:36] Cameron Watson: into any system just to maintain that system,

[01:13:41] Kyle Jetsel: you know, in our family, we call it, we call it by default, right? It’s a parenting by default, or, you know, Hey, I was raised, right? My parents raised me. I’m going to do what my parents did, you know, whatever. And it’s, and it’s interesting. My son called me this morning.

[01:13:59] Kyle Jetsel: My oldest son called me this morning and his next door neighbor has a little, little dog. And he called me because he was throwing the ball with the dog, right? He was helping out his neighbor by going over and he, and, and he said, he said something I thought was really powerful. He said, you know what, dad, this little dog, I have to, when she’s gone, I have to go walk the dog and play ball with the dog.

[01:14:24] Kyle Jetsel: And as I’m doing it, I see other people walking their dogs and playing ball with their dogs. And, you know, I don’t really see, and he said this about himself, he said, I don’t see other parents walking their kids or playing ball with their kids. And he said, you know, the dogs need it because if you don’t go walk your dog or play ball with your dog, that dog is going to tear crap up in your house.

[01:14:51] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah, they need that energy release and he said I just had this epiphany that I better freaking walk my kids and play ball with My kids. I don’t he said I think you don’t see it anymore because all the kids have iPads and they have all these things To keep them busy. He said I remember we threw a baseball every almost every week my whole life And I’ve seen you do it You’re out there shooting with your kids shooting baskets and doing these things and I said you have to you have to consciously make that Decision it has to be part of your plan Right.

[01:15:22] Kyle Jetsel: Yep. And he said, I’m so glad I’m taking care of this dog for this lady because it may, I had this epiphany that I better play catch with my kids and and walk my kids because little boys and little girl girls need to be walked Right, or they’ll tear crap up. He said I can’t just sit back and expect it to go.

[01:15:43] Kyle Jetsel: Okay, right? That’s a great.

[01:15:46] Cameron Watson: It’s not the furniture that they destroy

[01:15:49] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah, that’s right. Well, they do that too. But if you have boys, but you’re right, but you’re right. You’re right Yeah, the connection is walking that dog. There’s a purpose right? There’s a purpose with walking your kids or just connecting You know away from just talking and doing those things right and having those conversations And I took my daughter wanted to go over to the Y the other day So I said will you drive and I’ll ride with you and she said I don’t want to drive when you’re in the car Well to me, that’s that to me that means There’s a reason.

[01:16:24] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah. And my mind starts spinning, right? So I say, well, you’re driving So I’ll just ride with you because when she’s got a permit and I can ride with her, right? Yeah, and Then we get in the car. She says can I can you just drive? I’m tired I say you’re tired. We’re going to the why well, you know, she said since you’re going you can drive I said well, I’m not I don’t really have to go.

[01:16:54] Kyle Jetsel: Do you not want to go right and it starts the conversation And it goes around and around and around, until I realize, she finally after driving all the way over there, and then driving almost all the way back, that in the past I was a little critical of her driving.

[01:17:15] Kyle Jetsel: Now, you know, and it took all the way over there, and then I forced her to drive all the way back, because, you don’t want to do something, there’s a reason that I’m figuring it out. I can’t just let it sit, right? Yeah. And, and it was, It was a simple thing, but I’m like, Oh, you know what? I didn’t see it as critical.

[01:17:33] Kyle Jetsel: I saw it as instructive because that’s what I’m supposed to do. But you know what? How would you like me to, how would you like, how would you like me to communicate with you when you’re driving? Cause you’re a good driver. I’m I sit back and usually just relax. I don’t really have to say much. So she described to me how she would like me to talk to her when we drive and you know, And I said perfect, but it took all the way over there.

[01:17:58] Kyle Jetsel: She wouldn’t tell me she was beating around the bush She was right and I have a great relationship with my daughter She’ll she’s pretty open with me about a lot of stuff, but that was one thing She wasn’t ready yet to do, you know, but again, it’s it’s it’s the connection. It’s the it’s the I had to walk her a long ways You know, I had to put the leash on her and walk my daughter a long way before she finally Made that, made the connection that we needed to have.

[01:18:27] Kyle Jetsel: Right. And his, his analogy was pretty interesting to me. Is sometimes it just takes time, right? Sometimes it’s, it’s, my, my daughter and I, all my kids, each of them once a month, we go out, just me and each one of them individually. Mm hmm. Because I know if we go out and we go out somewhere to eat, we’re away from everybody else.

[01:18:48] Kyle Jetsel: They don’t have to worry about their brothers and sister getting the mental things. Right. We can have a conversation and eventually, They’ll tell me if something’s bothering them, or if they want to talk about something, or if they’re worried about the second anniversary of their mom passing away, and how it’s going to affect them, or, right?

[01:19:03] Kyle Jetsel: There’s, it takes, sometimes it takes a long walk, right? And I think it’s a good idea to take those long walks sometimes, or to play, you know, throw the ball occasionally with them for a little while, just to get to that point. So, I, I like the, I like that your wife, and I, you know, you and I have talked about this before, we all need checks and balances in our life.

[01:19:30] Kyle Jetsel: Yep. And our wives, our wives can be wonderful checks and balances for us. And I’m curious how she approached you to challenge your optimism. You know, and I, if she came at you hard, because I know you’re saying it very softly. Mm hmm. And I appreciate that because I know what kind of man you are. But I want to know the truth.

[01:19:54] Kyle Jetsel: I want to know the truth. I mean, if the truth is that she came at you softly, that’s

[01:19:57] Cameron Watson: the truth, right? Yeah, she didn’t come at me softly. She came at me frustrated and at her wits end and desperate. That’s, I’m

[01:20:11] Kyle Jetsel: glad you shared that. How did you accept it? In a way that was a

[01:20:20] Cameron Watson: change. I’m one of my gifts is taking feedback.

[01:20:29] Cameron Watson: And so if someone’s upset, I listen. Okay. I’ll just give this example. Um, the other day at work, I’m, I’m the newest guy in this warehouse. And, uh, we’re, we’re taking these things off. They have barcodes on them and I’m supposed to put them a certain way so it can be scanned. Right. And I’m, I’m unloading, putting it on the belt and I, I’ve been trained for all of three minutes on this new area that I’m working.

[01:21:00] Cameron Watson: Well, the guy up who’s trying to do the scanning, he comes down and yells at the top of his lungs.

[01:21:09] Kyle Jetsel: The barcodes go up!

[01:21:15] Cameron Watson: And I, and I’m like, And so I, I look at him, And I, I say, okay, And so I made sure that I was putting all the barcodes up. 20 minutes, half hour goes by, What the

[01:21:30] Kyle Jetsel: freak? The barcodes go up! You gotta get, it’s not on the side, It’s not on the front, it’s on the, You put

[01:21:38] Cameron Watson: it on! Right? He’s just going off. And I say, well I repeat back to him, right?

[01:21:45] Cameron Watson: Hey,

[01:21:47] Kyle Jetsel: I always love your impressions. I always love your impressions of people that are angry, frustrated, sorry, you see me crack up every time. The barcode! Keep going,

[01:21:59] Cameron Watson: I’m sorry. Yeah, I mean he was so frustrated, right? And I’m working with someone else. And I’m the new guy. And so I’m thinking we’re, we’re putting them on the same line.

[01:22:12] Cameron Watson: I look over at the guy, I’m like, that guy’s not putting the barcodes up, but I’m the new guy, right? So I’m.

[01:22:23] Cameron Watson: Listened and some other guys come over and said man. That was just not appropriate now this I Literally said these words, and I believe them to be true. He is irate. He chewed me out in front of everybody He’s not my supervisor. He’s just a co worker, but I said you know what I appreciated the feedback because he was very clear His instructions were concise.

[01:22:47] Cameron Watson: It was loud enough that I could hear it, which in a warehouse with all the fans blowing, sometimes it’s hard to hear. And I said, I recognize by the intensity, he’s not pleased with the work that’s going on. And I thought about it because I actually want to get better. And so I could have gotten mad and be like, and other people were like, commiserating with me.

[01:23:11] Cameron Watson: Oh yeah. I got yelled at me one time, you know? And I was just like, Oh, you know, it was helpful. I think. So here’s the rest of the story. This morning I show up, I am put on that same duty, the same work and I pull the thing off and I put it down barcode up. And the guy next to me, Different guy than before.

[01:23:32] Cameron Watson: He goes, hey, that’s not the right way. I was like, the bar codes up. He goes, that’s not the right bar code. I was like, there are different ones. He’s like, yeah, got to find the right one. I was like, oh my goodness. I had no idea. Nobody told me. So I, you know, found it. And then now I’m all looking for the right bar code, unloading this truck, putting it down.

[01:23:56] Cameron Watson: Here’s something that most people wouldn’t do. And this is where it’s weird. I went and I found my supervisor. Who listened to this other guy just rip into me and was probably making mental notes about that guy is not someone we want around. Right. I went to him and said, look, you appreciate sarcasm because I don’t know him.

[01:24:19] Cameron Watson: Right. I’m the new guy. I’ve been there two weeks. He’s like, yeah, I, I, I do. And I was like, okay, so first of all, I just need you to know, see, these are barcodes. They go up. And he’s like, okay, yeah, that’s not very funny. Right. But then I was like, listen, I just found out the barcodes. I was putting any barcode up.

[01:24:40] Cameron Watson: And so that guy up there who couldn’t scan the, the, uh, boxes, it’s because the bark, not all the barcodes are equal. I was putting any barcode up. That’s totally on me because you told me to make sure it was this barcode and he certainly told me multiple times and I just didn’t understand until, uh, the guy who I was working with this morning was awesome.

[01:25:07] Cameron Watson: He was so cool. He’s like, He’s the ideal person to be new with because he’s like, see, look and education and help me, but that’s weird. Most people wouldn’t accept someone irate and angry and passionate and yelling. About something and look for the truth and how they can be better. It’s not fair to say, Hey, how did you accept it?

[01:25:36] Cameron Watson: Because that’s not a nor I, I listened and I went, okay, I, I can, I, I will figure out what to do next. I won’t just use my so here optimism. To keep going through it. So this

[01:25:51] Kyle Jetsel: is why I love this because here’s why I love your, and in my relationship, right? Because people might get on here and say, well, these are two guys just marrying each other.

[01:26:03] Kyle Jetsel: They’re the same guy, right? If that guy would have screamed at me to put the barcode up, I might’ve screamed, put your mama up. You know what I’m saying? That’s what I would have screamed back. You ain’t my boss, put your mama up. That would have been my reaction. Right? So when, when your wife comes at you and my wife has come at me.

[01:26:22] Kyle Jetsel: Right. So this is a learned behavior for me too, right? Learning that it’s not always me, right? And my, my son on the spectrum taught me this. It’s not me. Most of the time it’s not me. It’s his own frustration or discouragement. And sometimes it’s me, right? Sometimes it is. But either way, I can’t, Like, if my wife comes at me guns blazing, first of all, my wife is, was very feminine, and that really wasn’t her approach generally.

[01:26:58] Kyle Jetsel: Mm hmm. So we, we worked well together because she was, she was more likely to come to me and bat her eyes and say, Hey, I’m seeing something that you can help me with, right? That was her general approach, and that worked well. But if she did come at me with guns blazing, then I would, I’m ready for a fight.

[01:27:19] Kyle Jetsel: And so, but here’s what’s interesting. And I, and I, this is something I had to learn. And so this is why I like it because you come at it from one perspective, which is it’s my nature to just listen and respond. If the take my nature is not that way at all. Right. So the guys out there that are, that are like me, I want to let you know, you can do it.

[01:27:41] Kyle Jetsel: It’s, it’s a, you have to practice it, right? You have to, you know, the weight formula. What am I thinking? You have to, you have to say when my wife would come at me blazing, I’d have to say, Is this productive? Is it helpful? Is it? How can I do this in the spirit of love? And I’ve had to stop, and she would even call me out on it.

[01:27:58] Kyle Jetsel: What do you think? Tell me what you’re thinking. I say, give me a second. You don’t want to hear what I’m thinking right now. I’m thinking I want to sock you in the mouth, right? That’s not, but I know that’s not appropriate, right? So I wouldn’t say that out loud, but that’s what I’m thinking. And I would think, how do I approach this correctly, right?

[01:28:17] Kyle Jetsel: And my wife did a good job at, you know, there were times, but when, when your wife is stressed out and the, the world is crumbling and you’re in, and she’s desperate. She’s not going to come to you batting her eyes. Right? She’s going to come to you in desperation, in fear, in, in, uh, you know, is this even the guy that can make this right?

[01:28:39] Kyle Jetsel: Is this the guy I should be following? Or is this my, the guy I want to follow? You know? And so, and, and when you fight, right, I think when things go wrong, we have this tendency to, to want to blame somebody. Right. And it’s easy to blame someone else because they’re so close to us. Right? And so it’s easy to do that.

[01:29:01] Kyle Jetsel: And so I think it’s imperative that we as men realize that we’re the easiest target and we have to, we have to act as extreme patients. And really the best way to solve those problems is, is to take action, whether that be imperfect action. You know, you said early in the being, you said, you said, we can’t, we’re not going to try to reach perfection with this thing.

[01:29:27] Kyle Jetsel: We’re just, we’re just going to be. And I, and I, and immediately I thought you’re just going to be authentic. Oh yeah. You’re not trying to be perfect. You’re trying to be authentic. Right? And I think, and so I think when. You know, the fact that you handle it so well and so beautifully is just the opposite of, I could see it.

[01:29:45] Kyle Jetsel: Imagine myself in that situation, at least initially the young Kyle, you know, would have said, well, if you don’t freak out so much, maybe this crap wouldn’t be right. I could see all kinds of things going through my mind. Right. If you weren’t so early emotional, right, this is what men naturally go to.

[01:30:04] Kyle Jetsel: Right. And so it’s imperative that we take a beat, right. And realize, Hey, there’s a couple of ways I can handle this. One is going to make it worse. One is not going to be done in the spirit of love. One is going to cost me a lot of problems down the road. I, I do want to also, as part of that, make the men realize too, that by taking that passive role in those moments does not mean that you’re, you’re not being a man, right?

[01:30:37] Kyle Jetsel: It means you are being a man. A lot of times, a lot of times the hardest, it was harder for me. I thought it took more strength for me to be passive in those moments. And I learned this, especially with my son, Eric, when he comes to me with his fist balled up and he’s ready to punch me, the natural me would just as soon knock him out.

[01:30:58] Kyle Jetsel: That’s easy, but it takes more strength for me to, to manage that emotion and do the right thing in that moment. And I think it’s a powerful thing. And you’re not going to lose credibility with your wife by saying, hold on, hold on, let me, let’s figure this out. Right. Let’s, and, and listening and taking it all in and then taking action and, and engaging her and saying, I’m considering taking this action.

[01:31:26] Kyle Jetsel: What action do you think I should take? Right? Sometimes they’ll be so frustrated. They’ll say, I don’t care what action you take, just do something. Right? I’ve heard that before and I’m sure all of us have. Yeah. But maybe when the emotion dies down a little bit to say, listen, I’d like your help. I want to create something together with you.

[01:31:42] Kyle Jetsel: You’re my partner in this. Will you, I remember telling my wife one time I was doing something that I thought was right and she didn’t like it. And I said, there’s a couple of ways I’m going to do this. And there’s a couple of ways this can go. You can either run beside me and we’re going to get there faster, or you can hop on my back and you can weigh me down, but I’m going to get there.

[01:32:12] Kyle Jetsel: Or you can tie a rope to me and I can drag your butt, but I’m going to get there. So there’s a couple of ways you can handle this. I would love it if you would run beside me and if you want to run beside me. Let’s do a plan together. Let’s run together. Let’s run together, right? And I love how you started this whole thing.

[01:32:30] Kyle Jetsel: I set my family down. I said, here’s what we’re gonna do. Do you want to participate? Do you want to join in? And your kids got passionate about it. They got, it fueled their action, right? It fueled your action. And, and now you guys, it doesn’t mean the storm is past. It means you’re facing that storm and you’re and you’re getting stronger and you’re using it to become stronger Right, and when the next storm you’re going to have what you’re going to say.

[01:32:56] Kyle Jetsel: Hey, we’ve faced storms before we got this Right. This one’s a little crazier This one’s harder, right? Maybe we need more lifeline on this one, right? Yeah times when I when i’m I have people say to me. I don’t know how you can do what you do and I say Yeah, I don’t either sometimes but I do a lot of times i’m working at it, right?

[01:33:20] Kyle Jetsel: I have action I’m taking action. I do always have that lifeline and I’m gonna I’m gonna use it. I’m gonna make sure that it’s strong, right? You talked about connection with deity. Yeah, your lifeline. It’d be this little thread, right? Your lifeline has to be this big giant rope ladder hand reaching down to pull you out Sometimes

[01:33:45] Cameron Watson: right?

[01:33:46] Cameron Watson: Well, so let’s talk a little bit about that because um, I think it maybe is I The ideal is to have a big, fat, thick, steel cable, you know, tying you to deity. But I think the reality is most of us have a lot of room for improvement. And when, I would say, let me put it this way. When life strikes a blow and you realize you could use help from a higher power, that is an opportunity to build that stronger cable.

[01:34:32] Cameron Watson: connection. And if, um, even if it’s just a hope that maybe There’s something there, and if you just take a little bit of action towards that, then you will feel something, and I’m not going to say it’s going to change your life by any stretch of the imagination. It’s not a it’s not a it’s not a formula.

[01:34:57] Cameron Watson: It’s not 2 in 18 out. It is, uh, incremental recognition that you are not the ultimate power in the universe. And that too, there is a higher power, and I don’t care if you, what you call the higher power, if you reach towards that, the, the philosophy alone of reaching towards something outside of yourself is a benefit and will be blessed.

[01:35:31] Cameron Watson: And if you get to know the properties of the higher power, then from a. A religious perspective. My faith is in Jesus Christ as my ultimate Lord, my savior, and recognizing no matter what I do, I’m going to be flawed. And if I start with his mercy and his, see, there I go. Mercy again, right? I love the mercy side of things, but if I, if I rely on him first, it doesn’t make it a lot easier for me to do all the other things.

[01:36:08] Cameron Watson: And that connection with God, that connection with my family and the connection with myself to recognize that I’m flawed and I’m natural and I’m not immune to the realities of mortality just because I have a great attitude. That, um, that has allowed me to really step forward and lean into the wind. And not just face it, but to leverage it to fly like a kite.

[01:36:38] Cameron Watson: And to rise above a lot of the things that, uh, was beating me up along the path. And, you know, I’m going to share this, um, one of the most meaningful things in my 27 years of marriage happened just the other day, as my wife and I were talking about this business and we were talking about misunderstanding and non communication and getting distracted by.

[01:37:08] Cameron Watson: And, um, she said the reas

[01:37:18] Cameron Watson: is so that if this doesn’t, if this fails, it’s not, you’ve, it’s not a fail. How did she put it? It was such a beautiful thing. And it made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. She said, I want the point. Oh, that’s what it is. She goes, she said, I want the failure of the business to be ours, not yours. And I’ve, I’ve rarely in my life felt.

[01:37:47] Cameron Watson: As much love and compassion from my spouse, because I was having a rough go. We had some setbacks this, this month, uh, brutal business setbacks had to terminate a developer that we’ve spent, uh, you know, multiple thousands of dollars, we’ll say, you know, I’ll just say multiple tens of thousands of dollars that we don’t necessarily have.

[01:38:13] Cameron Watson: And, uh, had to fire him yesterday and in preparation for this. My wife’s like, let’s get, let’s get all the details there. I want this to be our failure. Not your failure and that connection with her. Oh my goodness. Did I, did I charge into this week much better off knowing that I was going to have to do some pretty rough and tough things because I had that connection with her and that’s really kind of the, the.

[01:38:44] Cameron Watson: The end message about all of this is the connections that you have with others allow you to conquer the insecurities, fear, and doubt that prevent you from taking action. It doesn’t mean that you conquer and you stop having the problems. It means you, you conquer the, uh, lack of movement, the lack of inertia.

[01:39:08] Cameron Watson: And the, the fear and the anxiety and the depression that really causes you to isolate and withdraw and pull back into yourself. And so when we talk about connecting with others and connecting with yourself and connecting with deity, the purpose is to help you conquer the, the results of inaction in adversity.

[01:39:37] Cameron Watson: It’s, it’s not to have you overcome the adversity. The adversity per se is not to help you overcome the depression because sometimes that’s out of our hands We you can’t you can’t decide not to be depressed in the same way. You can’t decide to not have cancer I don’t care what you’ve learned about optimism.

[01:39:57] Cameron Watson: It doesn’t work that way. I know it doesn’t i’m naturally optimistic And i’ve been affected by depression I’ve I had a head injury Where I got really irritable. I’m the most laid back guy you can imagine. And I’m ticked off at

[01:40:14] Kyle Jetsel: people because of

[01:40:15] Cameron Watson: a concussion to the, you know, my brain was. Messed up. So it, uh, and see, I, I forget that this is for others.

[01:40:27] Cameron Watson: So I don’t know if I’m making it. I’m just talking to my buddy, Kyle. It is. I’m going to put him

[01:40:35] Kyle Jetsel: in here.

[01:40:37] Cameron Watson: Yeah, it’s not about avoiding the hardship. It’s not about that. It’s about dealing with the fact you’re having hardship. And that makes the hardship less impactful in a negative way and potentially maybe possibly makes it a benefit to you and your family, not just now, but maybe in years to come.

[01:41:02] Cameron Watson: And I don’t know about that side. That’s my hope. That’s the optimistic part of me. And we’ll see because so far it’s been a great thing, but man, I just, I’m tired of the, the waiting for it to get better aspect of things.

[01:41:21] Kyle Jetsel: So I’m going to tie a bow on this in this way, because I think, I think what you said is something my, as Shelly used to say, she would say, just because you know how to eat food, right?

[01:41:39] Kyle Jetsel: Doesn’t mean you’ll you won’t have to eat food anymore. Okay,

[01:41:44] Cameron Watson: she said there you

[01:41:44] Kyle Jetsel: go And she equated that to she equated that to a trial, you know a challenge in your life It doesn’t mean something won’t come back Right, if you face the challenge and you do it well, like you learn how to face that challenge And you create a plan for it and you dress it and you go to work and you go through it and you endure Well, it doesn’t mean it won’t come back Right?

[01:42:13] Kyle Jetsel: You’re still going to have to eat. What it does mean is the next time it comes, you’re like, I know how to do this. I can do this in a, right? I can do this and endure well. It doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen again. A trial is only a trial if you don’t know what to do. If you know what to do, you’ll get to work.

[01:42:31] Kyle Jetsel: You start to take action, right? It doesn’t mean it’s not going to be hard. It doesn’t mean it’s not going to be painful, but you’ve got a plan. You’ve got some action you can take, you know, right? And this is where I truly believe what you guys are doing is tremendous because. There’s too much, uh, after my wife passed away, somebody gave me a book, you know, and it was, uh, it was full of quotes, right?

[01:43:02] Kyle Jetsel: The Lord will never leave you in, in those tough times, turn to the Lord. And you know, the, the story about when, you know, you’re walking on the sand and the footprints and there’s only one set of footprints, you know, all the,

[01:43:17] Kyle Jetsel: all the flowery stuff that I’m not really into, right? Yeah. And there’s a lot of that. out there. Okay. What I’m suggesting, and I appreciate that. I understand. Again, I appreciate those things. I get

[01:43:36] Cameron Watson: that. They can be comforting to people.

[01:43:40] Kyle Jetsel: They can be comforting to people. Yes. But, but yeah, faith and hope is good, but it’s not a plan.

[01:43:49] Kyle Jetsel: It’s not gonna, right. There’s, there’s a difference in enduring and enduring well in my mind. Right. And the only way to endure well is to learn to endure well through those trials. Right. If you’re just waiting for it to end and then it ends, you go, that was tough. I hope I never had to face that again.

[01:44:05] Kyle Jetsel: The next time it comes along and it will, you’re going to do the same exact thing, right? I used to work with a girl. So funny to me. She was a mess emotionally, just an absolute mess. Okay. And, and I like to think, uh, and she would talk about emotional intelligence, right? And she would, she would drone off about her emotional intelligence.

[01:44:38] Kyle Jetsel: And I started to think about this a lot because she had read a book on emotional intelligence and what these emotions mean, how emotions work, you know, it’s just incredible. I mean, you can go, you can draw. And on and on about how they mean, what they mean, how they work, how they affect you. The, the problem she had is she couldn’t control her emotions whatsoever, right?

[01:44:57] Kyle Jetsel: She had no emotional control whatsoever. She had a tremendous amount of emotional intelligence, but she thought that was the answer. But she was a mess because she had no, she hadn’t acted, she hadn’t taken an action on anything, right? Yeah. And so I wasn’t gonna, I wasn’t gonna solve her problems. I wasn’t gonna, I’m not that guy.

[01:45:16] Kyle Jetsel: Again, I’ve learned you don’t

[01:45:20] Cameron Watson: tell the father daughter or relative. Hey, you might be the problem

[01:45:26] Kyle Jetsel: It’s just you came in and told and asked me what would you do in this situation? I saw I have a you want to see my worksheet. You have a worksheet said yeah I have an action I have an action worksheet for this.

[01:45:39] Kyle Jetsel: Can you show it to me? I showed it to her and she said I’ve been in therapy for a year talking about this Understanding it, figuring it all out, rehashing it. You just handed me something that can help me solve it. I’m like, I know. Why don’t you show me this a long time ago? I said, Hey, I’m the Coast Guard, right?

[01:46:02] Kyle Jetsel: Right. But it was like, you’ve just taken a year’s worth of baloney. I’ve been. Right. What we’re saying, I think, and this is goes back to what you said in the very beginning. Connect and conquer. You said, I set my kids down and I said, Hey, I think we can build a business doing this. Do you want to participate?

[01:46:19] Kyle Jetsel: What will you do? What will you do? What will you do? Your kids took action. They took responsibility. They took control. It didn’t change the fact that they weren’t facing the challenges. You’re still facing challenges. I am too, right? The reason we’re bubbly and happy is not because we’re not getting smacked around all the time, right?

[01:46:38] Kyle Jetsel: I don’t want people to take this the wrong way, right? I’m coming up on two years without the love of my life. My wife was my steadying force in my life. Mm hmm. Right. I talked to a friend of mine who said whenever he gets overwhelmed and he feels like the weight of the world’s too heavy, he goes hikes and it settles him down.

[01:46:56] Kyle Jetsel: What do you do to settle you down? I would talk to my wife. Oh my gosh, what do you do now? I don’t know. I don’t know. What do I do right now? I don’t think I haven’t created a cost worksheet for that and adjusted, adjusted, adjusted, adjusted, adjusted, adjusted. I’m working at it. Right. And I think therein lies.

[01:47:17] Kyle Jetsel: The answer is the working at it. It doesn’t mean the Maybe I’ll never figure it out. Maybe, maybe the answer is in the work. It’s stealth, right? Maybe the answer is in the action. Maybe the action moves me in the right direction, right? Yeah, and maybe I die, right? Maybe I die trying, but I’m not gonna stop.

[01:47:38] Kyle Jetsel: I’m gonna die trying. I need to continue, right? And I think therein lies the, the everything we’re talking about here is to sit back and to isolate and to Right and to get in your own head, you know, we talked about that getting in your own head and and analysis by paralysis And yeah, you know get out a piece of paper start writing your thoughts down share it with others, right post on pages Just do something that creates action and lets you start to think through this from the outside in and that’ll really help you To face those challenges, right?

[01:48:16] Kyle Jetsel: Yeah face those challenges my son,

[01:48:18] Cameron Watson: you know, go

[01:48:19] Kyle Jetsel: ahead go ahead

[01:48:22] Cameron Watson: Oh, I was going to say you almost quoted one of my favorite authors, Brandon Sanderson. Um, in, in what the quotes go, like some of them are life before death journey before destination. And, uh, I think sometimes we get caught up with the destination, not realizing that

[01:48:49] Cameron Watson: the destination guy, right? Uh, growing up, I did not like hiking because I wanted to get to the spot and then I wanted to stay in the spot and enjoy the spot. I didn’t enjoy getting to the spot. I love travel now and I actually enjoy camping, but I love the process of getting to where we’re going. And all too often, my, where Sara and I are mostly.

[01:49:23] Cameron Watson: Unaligned is I have a vision of where we’re going, and that’s sufficient to me to get through a lot of the sludge and the mud and the yuck because of that optimistic, it’s going to be great. But in the journey itself, there are things that you can do to make life better. And if you’re not doing those things, well, maybe just a little bit of a shame on you.

[01:49:50] Cameron Watson: Okay, in the spirit of love, but you can take some, you can do things to make things better potentially. And even if they don’t make things better, at least you tried and you can adjust, adjust, adjust to quote you. Right. Right. And what’s the worst that can happen to quote your dad, die trying. There’s some wisdom there too.

[01:50:16] Cameron Watson: And I know, I know that those who don’t know my family, they’re probably going, yeah, actually they probably stopped watching by this point. Right. Let’s be honest. But the real, the real thing is we’re, we’re trying to make the journey have value to our family. And if we can help others along the way, so much, the better bottom line, we’re going to continue to do this because it has made the journey.

[01:50:51] Cameron Watson: It’s like injecting air conditioning into the car instead of cranking the windows down and driving fast. It’s much

[01:50:59] Kyle Jetsel: for the you talk about 4 55 air conditioning, four windows down, 55

[01:51:06] Cameron Watson: miles an hour. That’s right. Now it’s 4 85, right? Because you can go really, yeah, good stuff. Cameron, I agree. Thank you so much, Kyle.

[01:51:19] Kyle Jetsel: Thank you, Cameron. It’s always fun.